And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
