Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
