More tranny stories later!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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