I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
