Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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