sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
