I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
