just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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