haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
