Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
