I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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