He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
