And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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