11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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