Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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