how can u be prego again
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
