Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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