You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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