And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
