Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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