You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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