..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
