We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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