This is not my ceiling
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
