doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize