Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
