what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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