He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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