Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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