I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
