This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
