I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Your cock deserves a montage
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Randomize
