I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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