I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
