So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
