Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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