WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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