i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
