Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
