you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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