what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Everyone says I win the strip club
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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