And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
