Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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