kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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