Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
