He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
