I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
