the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
