hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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