If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry about my life...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The Olympian is in my bed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
