i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
