Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
im holly from the hills drunk
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
