what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
