I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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