She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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