big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
