Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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