im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Send help, water and tortillas.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
