Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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