Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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