There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
