They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
