i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
