there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
