i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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