Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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