do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
