there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
